Interview: Growing up in France in the 1960s

I decided to interview my parents for this assessment. First of all, I think it's interesting for British people to see how people grew up in a different country that is France, at a different time. And I decided to interview both of my parents because they come from totally different backgrounds. I focused on their childhood and their entry in the world of work, so that my classmates can relate to it. I asked them exactly the same questions. My father's answers will be marked with F, and my mother's by M.

Stephane, my father, 51 years old

Sylvie, my mother, 50 years old

F: I was born not far from Paris, in a council flat, at the 3rd floor of a ten-storey building, situated in an estate. My city, just as all the ones around at that time, was communist. The estate population was of course really popular: there were a lot of immigrants, of large families. But overall, the environment was pretty quiet, there were trees and parks to brighten up these buildings and we didn’t feel like we lived cramped together. Paris being close, we only had to take the bus or the subway to have access to the great cultural diversity offered by the capital.

M: I was born in Nantes, quite a big city, with a lot of History behind it : it was notably Anne of Brittany’s hometown and belonged to her at some point.  When I was born, it was not such a beautiful city, but at least it was quite dynamic, open to shipping business and some industries, such as the LU biscuits, that were a great part of my childhood.  My family and I lived in a flat, not really in the city center. I remember having a little backyard, with a pond full of goldfish. My aunt and uncle lived a few houses away. To sum it up, even if I lived in an urban environment, it was quiet and not far from the sea.

F: A word to describe my family as a child would be «really odd». My sister and I were not expected -but the birth control pill didn’t exist yet- and my mother already had 3 children from a former marriage, lived alone when she met my father, a really jealous and short-tempered man who left his wife and children to live with her. He was then 57 and my mom was 40, and the birth of these two kids was more of a surprise than a real desire to fund a new family! Our step sisters and brother, 15 years older than us, were there to raise us more than to share our games. I grew up as a shy puny little boy, who somehow stuggled to get integrated in this estate environment, but always found a way to make some friends thanks to humour, which became a way to compensate for my lack of confidence and charisma. 

M: My family was quite a traditional one for that time. My father was a sailor, which means he was away from home 9 months out of 12. A kind of heroic figure for children, you know? He sails everywhere in the world, brings dolls back for you from every country he went to, but when he’s home, he only thinks about resting, not about being a father... My mother was a saleswoman (I don’t remember what she sold), and she had to take care of the whole family almost by herself. I can’t say much more about her, I don’t remember, she passed away when I was really young. My older brother, well, he was the one who carried the family name, and even if it was not necessarily blatant, it made a difference in the way our father considered us (and I think it is somehow true in every family). For the rest of my family, we were quite close, during the holidays we would gather with all the cousins, aunts, uncles... The discipline was quite strict, but I still keep nice memories of these years.

F: Christmas was quite nice when we celebrated it at home with the family, but I remember some of them spent with people who babysat us while my parents were God knows where. These one left us more of a bitter, empty taste in front of the Christmas tree. 

M: Christmas... Whatever happens, this holiday is always magic to children! It’s a period of truce - for a couple of days we forget the tensions going on within the family. There were always enough presents under the tree, we had titanic meals -but the memory that particularly left a mark on me was this show on television, I can’t remember the name, but it would broadcast some Disney movies extracts and we never missed it! Just remember there was not so many TV programs at that time, and we didn’t know what a DVD was.. As far as the actual celebration was concerned, there were never any religious rituals, we would just play some games and then open the long-awaited presents!

F: Don’t scream «ew!», but if there’s one plate that reminds me of my childhood, it’s lamb’s brain with white butter and caper. My mother cooked it quite often, and I loved it...

M: I can’t say there’s really a specific meal that would remind me of my childhood, only the smell of strawberry jam. When my grand-mother prepared it in a big copper pot with some strawberries from the garden, it would perfume the whole house!

F: My family nowadays has abolutely nothing to do with the one I had as a child. And I’m actually happy about that, I have too many memories of misunderstanding and heartbreaking moments, and that feeling that every character of this family was added against their will. Family spirit was for me a fictional concept read in books or seen in movies.

M: It’s hard to say if the family I have as a parent is similar to the one I had as a child. The roles are reversed, and how could we know how our children really feel? However, even if it’s a common thought that parents tend to recreate the pattern they knew as a child, I think things are different today: we listen a lot more to our children, we are less strict when it come to little things in everyday life, we give them more freedom in their life choices, we try to give them everything they need and want. On the other hand, we’re less present for them, because of the time spent at work, and our family is quite scattered, which makes family links wind up. One thing I love in my family as a parent is how liberated we are to tell what we think, and how much we communicate. We’re always making fun of each other when someone makes a mistake, but at the same time we share so much love, it’s properly amazing.

F: My parents - and by parents I mean my mother and step-father, my father having left us to go back to the family he had left to give life to us- were too occupied tearing each other apart to give any attention to my school life, and could only observe my failure afterwards. When I reached the age of 15, my mother «placed» me as an apprentice with a butcher, arguing that «at least, you’ll always have something to eat». After a year and a half of ordeal, I decided to take care of my own life.  I left and became apprentice somewhere else, this time for a job that made me dream a little bit more. And this is how, when I turned 18, I became a professional photographer. 

I don’t really think being born in 1990 would change much to this, 

I actually think when you have to put up with a life you don’t want, it’s more about your willingness to get out of it than really about an epoch. 

M: The integration in the world of work was simpler before, even without diplomas, it was possible for us to get a job, but it meant getting in by the back door, of course. Practice rather than theory was our experience, and this is how we evolved from a place to another. Nowadays, employers unfortunately tend to give more attention to diplomas than to the humane quality of their candidates. I think this is your generation’s main problem: being able to build on your theoretical knowledge while finding enough strength to make a way through all this. At least when we started from nothing, it gave us a kind of resourcefulness and combativeness. Moreover unemployment wasn’t as spread as it is today, disturbing for your generation. 

F: The previous generation parents’ main concern was to see their children succeed professionally, marry someone good, have the right number of children to be well integrated in «Society». Maybe there are common points between these ones and the current ones,but some major differences occurred with time. As parents now, we hope to see our children’s dreams come true, and basically hope they’ll make choices that make their lives as happy as possible, whatever their decisions.

M: I don’t really think about where my children will be in 10 years, because life is so turbulent, you can never know. You can start studies you actually never finish, and choose a completely different direction. Nothing is ever sure. All you can do is remain open to all possibilities, and go with the change instead of just putting up with it. I’m just reassured by the fact I have two clever children, and I trust them to find the right path without getting lost. I think the role of a parent is not to plan their child’s life, but to be there for them whatever happens. All I hope is that they’ll always make the choice that makes them happy.